Collection of Funny Facebook Status Updates

Collection of Funny Facebook Status Updates



NAME...

1. Works for the department of redundant departments.
2. ask if you expect mere proof to sway his opinion?
3. wonders if you hear about the corduroy pillows? They're making headlines!
4. just found out that they took the word "gullible" out of the dictionary!
5. wonders if illiterate people get the full effect of Alphabet Soup?
6. reminds you to not play stupid with me! I'm better at it.
7. says don't read everything you believe.
8. says don't sweat petty things — or pet sweaty things.
9. pleads that you don't treat me any differently than you would the King.
10. is going to drink wet cement and get really stoned.


NAME...

1. thinks that a clean house is a sign of a misspent life.
2. is going to have a day of firm decisions! Or am I?
3. thinks all the world's a stage. Too bad I missed rehearsal.
4. is going to borrow money from a pessimist. They don't expect to be paid back.
5. is proud to be modest!
6. says ask me about my vow of silence.
7. is living better through denial.
8. says blessed are they who go around in circles, for they shall be known as wheels.
9. is boldly going nowhere.
10. says cheer up, the worst is yet to come.
11. is cleverly disguised as a responsible adult.
12. couldn't myself have better it said.



NAME...

1. is dyslexic which means never having to say that you're yrros.
2. says dyslexics of the world, UNTIE!
3. stopped to think and forget to start again?
4. thinks everyone hates me because I'm paranoid.
5. thinks that friends help you move but real friends help you move bodies.
6. is geting behind early so he can have plenty of time to catch up
7. says "Give me ambiguity or give me something else."
8. Got milked?
9. thinks that happiness is a failure to understand how bad things really are.
10. He who laughs last thinks slowest.

NAME...

1. says it's been a business doing pleasure with you.
2. is frustrated that he knows all the answers, but nobody bothers to ask him the questions.
3. says last night I lay in bed looking up at the stars in the sky, and I thought to myself, "Where is the ceiling?!"
4. notices that nobody ever says, "It's only a game" when their team is winning.
5. says "Oh no, not another learning experience!"
6. has seen it all, done it all, can't remember most of it.
7. woke up screaming realizing he hadn't fallen asleep yet.
8. This line intentionally left unjustified.
9. thinks this would be really funny if it weren't happening to me.
10. has calculated that three out of four Facebook contacts make up 75% of his friends list
11. Is starting to think that today is the tomorrow he worried about yesterday.
12. wonders is the "Hokey Pokey" is really what it's all about?




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